mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
