Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
