Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
