how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
