You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
