I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
