Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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