I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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