You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
