Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
