hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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