As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
