I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
