What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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