Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did i walk over a car last night?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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