The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
