So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ketchup is God's man juice
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
