...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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