Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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