That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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