Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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