are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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