so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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