so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
