So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
