So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
