She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
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