Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
