I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
