They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
