It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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