We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
