Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
