Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Redeem this text for a blowjob
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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