we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
