everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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