your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
