How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
