i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
