i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
