Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
