It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
