Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
