why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
