I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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