Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
