We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
