Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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