Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
