Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
