cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
it was like eating out sand paper
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
